when a friend called me last night and asked to write something for the memorial service currently happening for our late great beautiful friend Bree, i hesitated. i still do. everyone who wrote to her family kept saying "she will forever be missed" and "too young". and i agree completely--but why do we clam up and become so unnecessarily clumsy with our words around death? why should i feel compelled to speak any differently of this person? especially when they are not even around to hear what i'm saying anymore! if i'm wrong, and there is an afterlife, sorry. maybe there is some moral ground post mortem where everyone is courteous and gentle.
either way, Bree was a true freak. a weirdo of the gonzo nature. a comrade in the voyage through this strange world. Bree was the one who laughed or cried first. it's scary when intelligence joins the influence of a jester, but this is one of the best minds to share thoughts with. she was a complete ball of goof. i can remember so many crazy adventures with her, and it seems like she spent much more time with a lot of people other than me, so i can't begin to imagine how many crazy adventures she participated in during her life. things seen, the people she met, the countless jokes told and good times with people she cared for.
let us not forget the bad times, though. these are as much the moments that make a person as the times we enjoyed. Bree was someone who searched for the indescribable essence of life that a lot of people forget about because they watch too much TV or are too worried about what they're going to wear to work the next day. i think there are a lot of people who become involved in this searching, and i commend anyone in doing so, but it is a sad quest that can lead us to question many of life's pleasures that make us comfortable or complacent. fortunately, and on second thought, not surprisingly, Bree knew something intuitively that charged her with an assurance and positivity lacking in a lot of searchers. i'm not saying she was always on top of her shit. who is, though? i can't say much of what she thought recently, because i haven't seen her in a little over a year. the Bree i saw last was closing in on something, she was strong in heart, body, and mind, and i hope that this was the case in her last moments.
Bree didn't deserve this. the frustration of this fact is overwhelming, devastating. in this time of separation, it's the love we shared with Bree we should all remember. a few months prior she remarked to a mutual friend that at her memorial she would not want people to mourn, but to rejoice in celebration of sharing moments with a person we enjoyed being around and loved, even when those moments were good or bad, brief as they always are.