she's my sponsor.

already got my pregame on. maybe too much. showing up at the party and realizing 80% of the crowd is sober and recovering with a deuce-deuce in my hand: priceless. i can't begin to explain how awkward it is to show up with a drunken crowd to a party where everyone is sober. even though molly, the birthday girl, said we could bring drinks, i think we were the only people who did. molly is my sister, almost literally. and when asked about my love for her, i told it striaght: i love you because you are who you want to be, and who you are is beautiful. she is amazing, and so was the blonde across the room checking me out. eyes connect once in a moment, but my testing gaze met with hers more than once. i had to go for it. that sounds terrible. i hate making my movements sound like predatorial grazings. i think i might like this girl. at least from our interactions...which was under five minutes...mmaybe i'm naive.
i ask her how she knew mollie she says, "she's my sponsor."
the thing is, she still wants to talk to me, and i don't know what to think. she is gorgeous, and as my friend put it later on after she left, "what were you doing talking to the hottest chick in the room?" i don't know. like i said, we made eye contact, and i'm so sick of being introverted when i find someone interested in me, especially the "hottest chick in the room." so mollie is your sponsor, and you are, and were, and continue to be the hottest chick in the room. your name is hatley. what would become of me seeking you out? the sober girl courted by a fucking wastoid. probably not. but you blew me a kiss, and even if in response to my own blown advance, i think i could be in (drunken) love. and i'll wake up tomorrow with no memory of your face and only a name and a stained memory to hold onto. but i bet i will call mollie and ask her for your number and she will probably give it to me and i will call you and you will not respond (as it is the game) and i will lamely give up. hatley, you are something i can't attain, and therefore you are beautiful and idolized.
fuck you, i (drunken) love you.