sorry for being in your way.

it's wednesday at 1:30pm and i want a drink, so i go to my local corner store for a six pack. at the resgister, the owner and his son are dealing with the best customer in history: the guy who tries to scam an extra dollar by asking for different amounts of change for bills in attempt to confuse the person at the register into giving more money than was present at the beginning. i've had people try this on me when i worked cash registers, but those times were with large amounts, twenties and hundreds. this guy is trying with $2.75.
"I gave you two dollars, then I gave you an extra dollar, and I still got a dollar right here!" he says. holding out his hand, i realize his outfit is at least worth 300 bills.
"No," says the owner, clearly over this exchange already, "you gave me two dollars, and you only have 75 cents in your hand."
"That's because he took my quarter," states the man adamantly, pointing at the owner's seven-year-old son. the kid doesn't seem too concerned, I get the feeling he didn't take the quarter. meanwhile, an old homeless man with a Hemmingway beard and a captain's hat has begun telling me repeatedly that he's sorry for being in my way. i nod and smile acknowledging it's no bother, more interested in the grifter's struggle for a dollar.
"C'mon, man. I wouldn't do this to you," he continues. "I wouldn't steal a penny from you. I've always paid in full for everything I get here. Hey, man, I haven't even gotten high today, I wouldn't try to do that. But you just stole a dollar from me!"
"sorry for being in your way."
"No I didn't. You gave me two dollars, I gave you eight quarters, I didn't steal anything from you."
"sorry."
"No man, maybe not purposely you didn't. But you took my dollar."
"Listen, I don't have time for this," says the owner, motioning for me to come forward. the man at the counter doesn't look at me, stubbornly continuing.
"Hey, man. I just want my 40 of Bud, man. I wouldn't try to steal from you."
and on, and on, and on...i've been wrung up, and am not trying to listen to this silliness anymore. i look at the homeless captain a last time, the only apologetic bastard in this whole encounter, his eyes watery with what i would like to think is hope, love, compassion, but probably he's just an alcoholic with a buzz and a tinge of psychological instability.
walking home, i'm forced to consider whether the same time spent hustling the liqour store owner instead used for panhandling would generate more than the dollar in question, and which of grifting or spanging is more noble? i conclude begging is better than stealing. show some humility. after all, you are a drunkard.
let's all take a note from the homeless captain.